I have decided what my next big destination will be – Indonesia!
I did figure out where I want to go next through one of my meditations sessions.
Once I came out of it I really loved the idea of flying to Jakarta and travel inland and along the coast to Bali! I got really excited about this journey but I also thought about going towards John. I caught my self loosing my confidence about going towards France first.
I did find my balance through the last months and feared, that if I go there I might loose it again?!
Putting away that thought, I hopped on the train early in the morning towards Zurich.
I worked in Zurich for three days. Like I said in my first post, I want to work along my journey also things I have never done before. In these three days I was supposed to work in promotion, and I have done that many times before, but on the second day something with the giveaways went wrong and suddenly I had to jump in as a personal shopper for Chinese customers at this house of brands that I was working at. So there I was with these Chinese Ladies trying to make my sudden new job right, as I was confronted with cultural differences.
I had to get used to the fact that they are treating employees very different and not very respectful. I have heard of this before but I didn’t want to believe that all of them are like this. So I decided to be respectful and tried to show them that we are equals. As I lost most of my clients in this big shopping center, I ended up with one woman alone. In the beginning she literally made me run from one rack to the other. And I cursed Ralph Lauren for not making smaller skirts! I got a bit frustrated with the whole situation and still I didn’t want to believe that this is going to end like this. So I started to ask her all kinds of questions about her travels and her plans. As she started to talk about it she became a lot softer. I even believe that she wasn’t aware of what was happening, but on our way to the wine store we were two women talking together normally and friendly. I tried to tell her something about wine ( of which I have not that much knowledge) and we talked so much that I forgot to tell the cashier that she has a 15% discount. The whole thing ended in me running around the whole building to get her money back and be fast enough so she wouldn’t miss her connecting train.
Sweaty and out of breath I didn’t mind, because she proved to me that she left her box that she was put in.
I really appreciated this new experience and it shows me that we all have this potential of change.
Later I went to my friend Nyima’s house. I stayed with her during this time and she is one of the warmest and most giving hosts I have encountered in my life! One of my dearest friends, Martina, joined us for dinner and over fish, asparagus and salad we spent a lovely evening together talking about life and traveling.
Nyima has been traveling alone as well and this at a much younger age than me. She has not only made a similar experience but she’s awesome at something I am not at all – planing!!
On the first night at her house I slightly became anxious because I had no clue were I would go first once I will arrive in Jakarta. Reading a bit about Jakarta it is not the most beautiful city that you want to spend too much time in. I was hoping that Nyima would give me some tips and may be helping me out with planing the start a bit.
She must have read my mind or sensed my wish, because it didn’t take her long to offer me her help. I was so grateful and could tell that she got excited because she loves doing this.
I talked to Nyima about my decision of not going towards France first. She was really surprised, because she knew how much I wanted to do that in the first place. I told her about my fear of loosing my balance, and she mentioned to me a passage from an unknown other:
To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t
leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about
winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you
appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go
isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn’t leave
emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up.
Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is
to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having
an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is learning
and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the
experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.
It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will
soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change,
and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is
realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.
To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.
I thought about it and came to the conclusion that my fear of loosing my balance is again my fear of loosing control. This journey is supposed to be about listening to my heart and doing what feels right in that moment.
I realized I had to let go.
I didn’t have to dig deep to know that I do want to see him before I go to Indonesia. All the reasons I gave my self for not going were far more excuses.
Life is too short to wait – I picked up my phone and asked him where he will be on the following Thursday!
And it looks like I might be going for a short trip to France. We’ll see…I have one week left till I leave for Indonesia and I am excited to see what will happen till then!
As I reached Thun on my way back from Zurich I couldn’t believe my eyes. It is the end of May, officially summer, and there I looked out the window and saw snow on the hills over Thun!
But if you ever go to Thun, I would recommend it in the “normal” summer, it is a lovely town with lots of “charm” and a beautiful lake with an amazing view over the mountain range.