A wee bit of Pastis…

I was on my way from Nice towards the Golf of Juan-les-Pins and my train was 10 minutes away from its final destination when I still didn’t know if John really will be there and at what time. His location kept changing the last to days that I probably know every hostel along the Cote d’Azur now.
So there I was sitting in the train towards the Golf of Juan-les-Pins, with no clue where I would be sleeping or meet him. I have to admit that it was exciting!

Knowing that I will be leaving for Indonesia on Monday, put me in a state of absolute calmness. Nevertheless, I was getting more nervous by the second. I kept thinking I should have expectations of how this evening is going to turn out, but the only one I had, was that I would actually get to see him in person. That was it!
And No matter how it would turn out, I will be leaving for my trip and that took away all those reasons or facts that we start to build up in our self through the years from experiences we made and we eventually end up having those expectations. If you are 21 you definitely look for something else in a man than when you are 29. So it often happens that you judge too early when meeting someone or you immediately put them in a box. You don’t allow your self to simply find out if you connect with that person.
In a way it was the best feeling to have if you are in a situation like this. Because it allowed me to be absolutely open to the moment.

I was one stop before the one I was getting off when I finally got a message that he will be there in 10 minutes. Suddenly this whole adventure became really real. Until now I could still use the “what if” and as we all know, it is a beautiful safe term that we all love so much because we are too scared of the real moment where we can’t hide anymore. Thoughts started to rush through my mind in an extremely fast speed. And there it was, the “what if”, but in a more negative way. It dominated every thought of mine. What if I don’t feel that connection at all anymore? What if I get really bored? What if I make an absolute fool out of my self? What if…and then I stopped! No, I came here because I didn’t want to leave for Indonesia and regret not finding out, not taking the risk, not be living the moment. I didn’t want to have to say; “What if I would have gone toward his direction first?” Right there in that moment that smile was back on my face and I was so happy knowing what ever will happen is supposed to happen.

As I walked towards him it felt a bit unreal. I met this man one time before in my life and there I was flying to South of France just because I thought that there is something about him that really interests me!
It was obvious that we were both very nervous. The area at the port of the Golf of Juan-les-Pins is very cute and rather small, but there was a small French bar where we had a Pastis to start of. Pastis is my favorite drink and on top of everything being in South France and drinking a glass of Pastis sitting across from John, I already got all I expected.

We walked along the beach towards Juan-les-Pins and stopped right at the beach for a glass of wine. The sun looked out the last time for that evening behind some rainy clouds and it gave almost a kitschy scenery but beautiful. And all I could say was; “That right now was worth my trip!”

I really enjoyed the whole evening and I was more than positively surprised by him. Because I knew that this is it and we are both going our separate ways from here again I didn’t feel any pressure on my self to impress him or be someone I am not. I also didn’t have any expectations from him. It gave the whole evening a very relaxed feeling. Even though he mentioned a couple of times that he had this night planed out differently, I didn’t mind at all. I thought it was perfect!

As we said goodbye there was a part of me who wanted him to stay. Yes, it was too short in a way, but may be this was even better that it was unexpected and not going as planed. Because I believe in a way it also showed a true color of both of us. I did tell him to come find me in Indonesia and how exciting would that be?!
With a smile and grateful, I walked back to the apartment which some friends of his rented and enjoyed the rest of the evening there.
And how do you say: The third time is the charm!

The next day I got up after a fun night and thankful for that I was able to sleep there, I went for a coffee with a french croissant in the sun. I could feel how my skin was so happy to feel finally the sun. I thought about last night and how I was scared to lose my balance. All sorts of different emotions were coming up and so I decided to walk from Juan-les-Pins to the Cap d’Antibes and all the way along the coast to Antibes. I didn’t really know how far it was or how long it will take me to get there. But with good hope and the map seen before and now in my head I reckoned that I will have enough time to enjoy that walk before I will have to hop on the train back to Nice.
It was so beautiful and I can only recommend on doing this. It is a bit of a walk but absolutely worth it. The sun was shining, I was in my Flip Flops and just happy! At the cape I went all the way to the last cliff and stood on top of it, feeling the breeze of the wind, looking in to the small but beautiful blue waves that were clashing on the cliffs. No, I didn’t loose my balance at all. I was feeling so content at this very moment and even more ready for Indonesia.

Once I arrived in Antibes I still had enough time and I was getting a bit hungry. There were small kiosks with food along the beach and smaller bistros that definitely would have fit more my budget, but all the way in the front I saw this beautiful fancy restaurant and I decided to do something I have never done before like this in my life.
I never went to a nice restaurant by my self. The host welcomed me very polite and asked if I am looking for a table for two. With a big smile I replied: No just for me! There was a brief moment I did feel a bit awkward because most guests were definitely from a different society but nevertheless I decided to treat my self. I enjoyed my octopus salad with a glass of rosé in the sun, the ocean a meter next to me and in front the view of beautiful boats and yachts. I indulged every bite and every sip and did not distract my self with my mobile or any technology. The waiter was so lovely and courteous and made this whole experience even better. It was an amazing feeling that I had once I left and made my way towards the train station.

Back in Basel not even the rain or the cold temperature could change my mood. I was feeling great and this trip was more than worth it!!
In Bern I went back to the place I used to work and was welcomed so warm and with so much love that I was a bit overwhelmed. I had a fantastic last night in Bern with my best friend and one day left that I will happily spend with my friend who is turning 30.

Excited and getting nervous but in e very good way I can’t wait to finally get to Indonesia. Now there is only one quest left before I leave and that is packing my backpack.